Sometimes history class is known for being too serious (or boring).
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25 History Jokes for Kids and Students
Sometimes history class is known for being too serious (or boring).
Many students associate it with a vicious cycle of note-taking and test-taking. If you’re looking for a way to liven things up and bring laughter into the classroom, here are 25 history jokes for kids and students you can incorporate into your lesson plans.
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25 History Jokes, Puns for students and kids
These may not be everyone’s cup of tea, but what is a good lesson without a few puns?
- Why is history like a fruit cake? It’s full of dates. (Source: History Jokes – Beano)
- What is a snake’s favorite subject in school? Hissssstory (Source: History Jokes – Jokes4us.com)
- I was researching the Jackson family tree. I got back as far as the civil war and hit a stone wall. (Source: Civil War Jokes – UpJoke.com)
- How was the Roman Empire cut in half? With a pair of Caesars! (Source: History Jokes – Duckster)
- Why did Karl Marx dislike Earl Grey tea? Because all proper tea is theft. (Source: reddit)
War Jokes
Yes, war is a serious topic. But who says you can’t bring some levity into your classroom discussions?
- What was the most popular dance in 1776? Indepen-dance. (Source: History Jokes for Kids – Fun Kids Jokes)
- Why was WWI so quick? Because they were Russian. Why was WW2 so slow? Because they were Stalin. (Source: History Jokes – Reader’s Digest)
- Three Americans who died in battle: a World War I soldier, a World War II soldier, and a Civil War soldier are waiting to get into heaven. Since there seems to be a massive line of people ahead, they start chatting.
The WWI soldier says, “So, I was in the trenches, fighting an evil German overlord with crazy facial hair!”
The WWII soldier says, “Well, *I* was on Omaha Beach fightin’ another evil German overlord with ridiculous facial hair!”
And then the Civil War soldier says, “Well, the guy I was fighting, he had some German ancestry, I guess, and the ridiculous hair wasn’t exactly on his face; you know what, lemme just show you his account on Twitter.” (Source: Civil War Jokes – UpJoke.com)
History Teacher Jokes
It never hurts to poke a little bit of fun at yourself sometimes.
- Two Classical Studies lecturers are walking through the history department. As they pass one office, they hear a group of Medievalists discussing the syllabi for their classes in the coming semester. One classicist turns to the other, rolling his eyes, and mutters, “Journalists.” (Source: reddit)
- What do history teachers talk about on dates? The good old days. (Source: History Teacher Dates Joke – Juicy Quotes)
- My teacher reminds me of history. She’s always repeating herself! (Source: Funny History Jokes – Funny Jokes)
History Jokes that Poke Fun at Royalty
When finding a good laugh, royal historical figures sometimes make themselves easy targets.
- In Great Britain, where are kings and queens crowned? On the head. (Source: History Jokes – Beano)
- Where did Suleiman the Magnificent go when he needed something to rest his feet on? The Ottoman Empire (Source: History Jokes – Jokes4us.com)
- Last night on Dancing with the Tsars, Peter and Catherine were great, but Ivan was terrible. (Source: 22 History Jokes and Memes We Dare You Not to Laugh At – WeAreTeachers.com)
Funny Jokes with Historical Figures
Sometimes the people that make history also make it funny.
- July 4th, 1776
British: just saying you’re independent doesn’t make it true
Thomas Jefferson: I didn’t say it. I declared it. (Source: Pinterest)
- Can I tell you where Napoleon Bonaparte comes from? Of Corsican! (Source: Imgur)
- What explorer was the best at Hide and Seeking? Marco Polo (Source: Unijokes)
- Who invented King Arthur’s round table? Sir Circumference! (Source: Funny History Jokes – Funny Jokes)
- When in doubt, ask yourself, “What would Nero do?” Kill everyone. (Source: Pinterest)
When History Jokes Meet Popular Music
Maybe your students need to know that your love of history does not negate your love of good tunes.
- “I got 95 problems and the catholic churches sale of indulgences are all of them” – Luther at some point probably (Source: electrified-harmonious – tumblr)
- I ain’t sayin’ she’s a gold digger, but she did move to California in 1849 (Source: Pinterest)
Bad History Jokes
For when you need a joke that is so bad, it’s good.
- What kind of music did the Pilgrims like? Plymouth Rock. (Source: History Jokes – Jokes4us.com)
- The Louisiana Purchase
Thomas Jefferson: I really want this land, but it’s very expensive and there’s no use for it.
James Madison: Treat yo’ self. (Source: Pinterest)
- What was the most popular kids’ movie in Ancient Greece? Troy Story (Source: History Jokes – History for Kids)
- I want to stop philosophizing, but I Kant. (Source: Pinterest)
Do you have any other history zingers to add to the collection?
